Desperation . . .

I have a new reason to read my Bible today.  Desperation.  I understand now why King David wrote "take not your spirit from me".  It was not to make a theological point, and not to provide academics something to argue about.  It was an act of desperation. 

I, like David, now understand how distracting "myself" can be.  I have woken up each day for the last week and prayed my own version of David's prayer; "oh Lord don't let me get so caught up in my own concerns that I stop feeling your Spirit!"  It has become an act of desperation to go to the Word of God, because praying alone hasn't cut it for me.  Praying and reading the Word of God is something that I can point to in my past and say "God was with me and I was growing."  Like using sunscreen, it has been proven effective.

So what is being a Christian, really?  It isn't trying to be better than others (it actually begins with the opposite: realizing that you can't be anything without God), and it isn't trying to follow a list of rules (read Romans and Galations the law [or rules] only points out our inability to be good.)  I often ask myself  what it means to be a Christian, and I believe that it really boils down to a couple things.  

1. I believe in the reality of God, his Son, and the sacrifice of the cross.  

2. that realization humbles me because the acts that it consists of were motivated by pure love.

 3. I love Jesus Christ and want to be with him and like him.

That is it.  Everything I do for Him is motivated by his love for me.  Of course, you understand that this is a little rougher in practice than it sounds.  But that is OK, because when I confess my errors and get back on the track of following him He reminds of how much he loves me.   What I mean to say is that it is not 'my love' that motivates me, it His love.  When I get past my own pride and insecurity, and fairly evaluate the relationship I have with Him, I am blown away by His love for me. In fact, I have learned that He thinks more highly of me than I do (which saves me the trouble of being boastful or proud).

Life is coming to grips with not being the center of the universe.  If I know that Jesus is the center of the universe, than I can personally accept that that position is being filled by another.  (most days)  :) 

This line of thinking always takes me to thinking about  God and what he is like, but I think that is  another discussion.