It turns out there was a good reason that I wasn't blogging. I wasn't filling my mind and heart with God's word and with the thoughts and ideas of others I respect. In short I was on spiritual and intellectual life support. Why? Because I had somehow managed to make my own self more important to me than God. This may sound like weird talk or babble to you, but when I am focused on listening to God, knowing Him more, and doing his will; I feel like a weight has been removed from my chest. When I focus on how bad I feel and what things I am currently resenting, I am mean to my family and not a very nice person to be around. God "met" me in worship this last week and put the kibosh on my crappy attitude.
I have often prayed for a "revelation" from God (an overwhelming sense of his presence, a miracle, etc.) and from time to time he does just that. This last week I had the most memorable experience of this type to date. The details are mostly personal, but, in short, he caused me to feel the hearthurt that my attitude and behavior had caused Him. WOW!! I just have to Pause for a moment here to say how amazing that God actually thinks higher of me than I do. When I keep perspective in my own heart (He big, me small, Him see all, me see what is in front of my face) God is pleased, and says in his Word that he will bless me. It really is a great deal for me!! I find the Christian life to be exciting and always forward looking. My relationships with people and family are richer and deeper than I could have imagined. In short, I don't think of my life as being limited by a list of "rules". I find my life to be defined by pleasing my savior. (the list just helps me to remember what pleases, and what doesn't.)
So . . . no more muddy water. I hope to use this blog to journal the thoughts and ideas that come from studying the word of God, and what other men have had to say about it.
But, we'll see, right?
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